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Integrity, Integrity...

    Where have I hidden you?

Behind excuses to inflate self

And win the approval of others.

    But what is truth?

Honesty leads to intimacy,

But fear hinders vinerability.

    How can I overcome?

By the blood of the Lamb,

    I am cleansed (1 Pt 1:2)! I am forgiven (Heb 12:24)! I no longer bound by sin (Rom 7:24-25)!

And the word of my testimony.

    I am a new creation (2 Cor 5:17)!

    The Lord who delivered me from the lion and the bear will deliver me from this giant (1 Sam 17:37).

    Greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world (1 Jn 4:4).

    His grace is sufficient for me, for His power is made perfect in weakness (2 Cor 12:9).

    Mercy triumphs judgment (Jas 2:13).

What is your testimony?

Wisdom

God, you are so incredible. Sometimes I really forget just how awesome you are. You always take care of me, you will never fail me. I was talking with one of the girls today and they made a comment on how they used to not believe you actually answered prayer. Do I pray like that sometimes? I pray so earnestly for things, but in reality I strain my voice because it makes me feel better or I pace with urgency because it looks good from the outside. But that doesn't matter to you. You could care less about the way I pray, it's the heart behind it. I think the really good times, the times when You really get a grin on your face is when I sit quietly against the wall and tell you about my day. Or we read one of the psalms together. You know my favorites. I love 139 and 63 and 30. They're so comforting to me. We're going to be learning about wisdom this week. The verses I memorized last week talked about wisdom. If you lack it all you have to do is ask You for it and not doubt. I need to apologize to you, because sometimes when I ask you for wisdom I don't really believe I'll get it. I think I more ask for it because I think it's the right thing to do... not because I desperately want it. Proverbs says wisdom stands on the street corner crying out. Well God, this is my knew heartfelt request. Please give me your wisdom. Give me the wisdom to deal with people, to know when to stay silent and show mercy and then to know when to speak out and reprimand in love. Guide me. Help me. I am useless without you. And I don't just hope, I know that when I wake up tomorrow, not only will it be a new day, but things will be good and I will be just a little bit wiser. And I'll ask you for wisdom again tomorrow and I'll wake up the next day even more wiser. You offer the best life. Thank you. I love you.

Goodness Gracious Great Balls of... Peace?

Life is so good. I don't care what anyone else tries to tell you, life is amazing. The fact that I am alive and able to talk and sing and dance and read and all of that is more than I could ever even ask for. I am so incredibly blessed beyond what I can even dream. God has given me so much more than I ask for. He has poured so many wonderful things into my life.
It's been a long day today. We did a lot of recording for our promo video and some footage for the luggage service. I got to read a script for the promo video. It was so much fun. I really love speaking in front of people. I guess it was actually a camera I was speaking in front of, but people will be watching it, so it's pretty much the same thing in my book. We worked in filming from lunch till about 5:30. It was fun though. Amanda gave me a makeover and Renee dressed me up. I felt like such a movie star! Haha.
But now we're done and I have such and intense craving to go to the beach and sink my toes into the sand and listen to the waves and look at the moon reflecting off the water and just listen to God whisper to me. It would be perfect if there were stars out. I love looking at the stars when God talks to me. They're so beautiful and peaceful. Peaceful... hah. It's funny that a violently flaming ball of gas way off in the universe seems so tranquil and calming to me when in reality it's a mass of chaos and confusion. I guess that's what the peace of God is like though. [I'm just thinking out loud... that's what this is for, right?] I mean, my life is full of chaos and confusion but somehow God gives me this peace. I guess that's the best way I can explain it right now.
I don't know if I'll make it to the beach or not. Maybe I'll find a car to borrow or get a ride. But for now I'll just have to be content listening to God whisper to me right here. I can live with that.